FAQs

Who do you think you are?! What are you doing and why the Hell are you doing it?

Dear Unnecessarily Hostile,

I am pursuing a temporary career in professional amateurism and bike touring through Europe. I'd like to say I just want to spend more time using my body in physically challenging ways while I still have youth and stamina on my side... but in reality I am also trying to restore some confidence and esteem after a particularly self-destructive year. Additionally, I am trying to get a job with Pit Viper as a content coordinator and need to demonstrate how rad I am so they will give me a job when this is over. 

Do you actually have youth and stamina on your side? Your Stats say you're 29...

Dear Passive Aggressive,

Thank you for reading my stats!

Can you really crack an egg with your butt?

Dear Doubtful,

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nm78vCEm888

How many pairs of bike shorts do you have with you?

Dear Concerned,

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I have only one pair of bike shorts with me. I am hoping to eventually get so strong that I will only stand while biking and no longer need the bike shorts at all. I know it sounds gross in the mean time, and sometimes it is. BUT I also have 5 pairs of underwear with me so... As long as I can do laundry one day a week I am good.

What is the one item on your trip that you can't live without?

Dear Curious,

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The boring, easy, and realistic answer to this question would be my cell phone. However, this website does not exist to be any of those things, so I will tell you about the item I would be most sad to lose; Mr. Bear. Mr. Bear has been my sleeping companion for over 10 years now, and has seen some shit.  He has been soaked in tears, kicked aside for lovers, stuffed in sacks and carried all over the world, and at times completely forgotten about; but not today. He doubles as a perfect neck pillow and conversation starter.